Tumult
by Raphael Esposito
Summary: A decade after the battle with Galaxia, a new chapter begins in the lives of the Sailor Senshi. Updated weekly until completion. Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to any part of Sailormoon. Notes: 1) In this story, Tenou Haruka and Meiou Jinan (OC) are rendered as androgynes (aka, "gender queer"); 2) I welcome comments, questions, and contributions from artists and writers.


Tomoe Hotaru wanted to smile with them yet she could not, her inner turmoil draining her of the will to engage with the ever-cheerful inner senshi. A decade after the battle with Galaxia, everyone was growing comfortable, everyone except for the senshi of silence.

"Taru-chan" called her toddler sister, Wakana, who reached for her from Michiru's arms and Hotaru smiled, shaking her hand gently.

"She thinks that her sister is too grumpy, I think" Haruka commented, gauging her reaction peripherally while sipping tea. Michiru gently elbowed her husband but Hotaru chuckled softly.

"She's probably right" she admitted, sipping her own tea casually.

"Aren't all medical students grumpy? I know that I certainly was!" Ami offered and her fiancée laughed.

"That's very true, Haruka-san; I think it's the school that does this to them" Makoto qualified.

"Is that so? We should have pushed you to become an engineer then" Haruka said and Michiru rolled her eyes.

"As if _you_ weren't a burden to deal with all throughout graduate school?" the woman teased and Haruka feigned shock.

"Me? I was never a pain; you're the one who never slept because of some recital or another…" he countered, provoking a dangerous glare.

"Be careful or you'll sleep on the sofa tonight…" she threatened and Haruka waved the white napkin from his lap in surrender; Michiru smiled at her victory.

"Ah… speaking of sleeping, how are you enjoying living on your own, Hotaru-chan? It's exciting, no?" Usagi asked cheerfully, passing her infant son, Hikaru off to her husband. Hotaru nodded but not enthusiastically.

"It's nice. I won't say that I don't miss them, especially because I'm missing a lot of Wakana's firsts but it's better for now, I think."

"Don't sound so depressed about things, Hotaru-chan! Just wait until you meet someone, then you'll be glad to have your own space!" Minako cheered and Hotaru averted her gaze, focusing on the deep green of her tea.

"I have no interest."

XXXXXXXXX

The knock on the door startled her. No one knocked on her door. Kagemi looked up sleepily from where she slept on the woman's lap and meowed. Hotaru smiled and gently scratched the gray cat's chin before picking her up and walking to the door.

"Mamoru-san?" His eyes were dark and he didn't bother with his casual smile.

"May I come in?" Hotaru stepped aside to allow him to pass into the almost harshly modern apartment.

Hotaru set the tea between them before taking her seat in the chair facing him, Kagemi jumping into her lap and settling there once more.

"Is everything alright? You've never visited me before."

"No but I have visited _her_." Hotaru looked away and nodded.

"I remember; you came to see her often when I was younger… You brought me origami flowers" she said, chuckling sadly at the warmness of the memory.

"I've always wondered why. What was your relationship with Setsuna?" Mamoru leaned forward on his clasped hands, briefly closing his eyes.

"In the Silver Millennium, she and I were the closest in age and so, it was natural that we grew up together. I'll confess that at one point, I had fallen… completely in love with her." Hotaru's stoic indigo eyes widened at this revelation.

"But she could never return my feelings. After all, she is gay" he said with a smirk. Hotaru blushed and sipped her tea.

"We never discussed it" she stated.

"Then I met Usa-ko and we fell in love but the bond Setsuna and I share never diminished."

"I see. So why is it to me you've come and not her? I can tell you where she is if you're in need of her counsel."

Suddenly, the man stood and paced once between the door and sofa before resuming his seat, Hotaru's brilliant eyes watching him intently.

"If she knew that I came here, she'd be very angry with me, you know? When she left eight years ago, she asked me to watch over you but not to interfere."

"That was thoughtful" she mused; she was growing impatient.

"Hotaru, can I just ask you: has she contacted you at all during this time?" Internally, she winced at the familiarity with which he addressed her yet concealed it.

"Not often and never in person. Occasionally, I receive letters congratulating me on some achievement or another. It's strange, she obviously knows everything that's happening yet she makes no effort to make me feel that I mean anything to her, except on my birthdays, I suppose. Kagemi was my gift last year, she was just sitting on my bed playing with a ribbon." Hotaru couldn't help but laugh at this.

"She sent me this last month for my graduation" she said, holding up her hand to reveal a silver and gold ring with a deep sapphire, then clutching her hand.

"Why is she doing this, Mamoru-san? Why did she leave?" Mamoru sighed.

"I really don't have a choice now… Hotaru, she left because she had fallen in love with you." Hotaru opened her mouth to speak but only silence emerged. Her hands, which had resumed stroking the sleeping Kagemi froze in place and a single tear cascaded down her alabaster face.

"But… She never… I thought that she didn't return my feelings and that's why she left. She never gave any indication…" the normally articulate woman's speech had become fractured along with her thoughts, her mind raced. Mamoru smiled sympathetically.

"You were sixteen, what would you have asked of her?" Hotaru struggled to focus upon him.

"No… nothing… I never tried to force anything, I was too focused on hiding my own feelings." He nodded, leaning back into the sofa.

"So was she. But for her, it was difficult. She was supposed to be mentoring you and helping you to develop your powers but she became afraid of the influence she had over you. She was afraid that your love for her was one derived from admiration, and she didn't want to take advantage of that."

"So she left? Why couldn't she just talk to me? No… she really couldn't have with that sort of fear."

"No" he affirmed. The heavy realization of the situation settled upon her.

"I couldn't just sit back and watch the two of you suffer anymore. It's enough, I think. You're a grown woman now."

"What should I do, Mamoru?" she asked, looking directly into his eyes as if she might find Setsuna within them. Mamoru stood and pulled on his coat and scarf.

"Go to her" he said, opening the door. Hotaru jumped up and ran to the door as he passed through.

"Thank you" she said solemnly and he smiled, producing a deep crimson origami flower for her. She took the object carefully and with a smile, he left her.


End file.
